I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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