Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
