I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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