At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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