apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
