never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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