she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
