I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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