Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
