I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
