Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
