There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
