im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
