My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
