a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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