tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
