New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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