I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
