Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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