Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
