too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
