She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
