she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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