there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
bring money and cleavage
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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