Redeem this text for a blowjob
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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