is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
