i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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