I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
