I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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