I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
