4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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