broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
