Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
