i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
