$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
