Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
