i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
