The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
