1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
