He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
