Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
