He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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