just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
