Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Pants are for mortals
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
