My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
