Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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