So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
