im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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