4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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