Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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